Respecting Him

CraignAmySo again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 

Last fall, “respect” was a word that the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and mind. God humbled me and opened my eyes to the subtle and not-so-subtle ways that I’d become insensitive to God’s direct will for me to always show respect to Craig.

Craig’s truly a wonderful husband – my dream come true! I know I got the better end of the deal when we married.

But marriage is never made up of flawless people. Disrespect can come out in my tone of voice, body language, or when I shut down verbally, emotionally and physically. Over past 21 years, I’ve dished out my share of rude, sarcastic remarks or critical speeches with which to speak my mind. This is absolutely wrong.

Respect is really a fruit of love.  We know that love is patient, kind and humble – not rude and easily angered.

Although I feel that I’ve improved a good deal, God’s standard hasn’t changed. I have more growing to do in the respect category! Craig would probably say my most common battle nowadays is when I’m irritated over something and become “on edge” with him. My words become tense and sharp and he may or may not have done anything to provoke me. Poor guy!

It’s not fun to write about this. It’s unbecoming of a redeemed daughter of God. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit never leaves us where we are! He convicted me and I responded with gratitude, confession, and submission. As I yield to Him, He works to refine me into God’s image.

Wives, healing never comes through disobedience.  Justifying our actions, blaming his behavior and rebelling against God’s Word will only leave us in greater pain. God is worthy of our obedience. Let’s choose to respect and honor our husbands as unto the Lord. We will only find righteousness, peace and joy on God’s path.

I now seek to place all my interactions with Craig through this powerful filter called RESPECT.  God requires it. Craig’s position entitles it. With God’s strength, I will give it.

Will you join me?


13 thoughts on “Respecting Him

  1. Wow! Thank you Amy!! You spoke right into my corrupted heart and a place I have been seeking growth as well!! When it comes to the crossroads of choosing the Christ-like response to my husband when I’m struggling, I continue to choose my selfishness. It’s awful, ugly, and needs to go! God has given me one of the greatest gifts via husband, and I am BEYOND blessed and undeserving! My corrupted heart is in the process of a Christ-correction and thank you Jesus that He doesn’t leave us where we are, but desires MORE!! Thanks again Amy!! On this journey with you 🙂

  2. Thank you for sharing “God’s heart” on this very sensitive issue. I will definitely join you in striving to be a respectful wife! I want to give my husband the honor he deserves, even in the everyday situations of life.

  3. Excellent post Amy! So true. We can get hangry or about our own agenda and leave our husbands with the worst part of us. I love your transparency here.

    I try. I fail. I dust myself off and try again. I will join you.

  4. Absolutely! I spent a lot of years surrounded by women who badmouthed their hubbies. As a result, I found myself doing the exact same thing. Expecting perfection from my husband was simply setting him up for failure. I created a world where nothing he could do was good enough to impress me. God convicted me of this in a big way. Through prayer and the leadership of the Followers of Christ that God introduced into my life, I am better about speaking words of life into and of my husband. One of the examples I try to follow is that of you and Craig. Your leadership is a blessing to so many!! Thank you for these words!

  5. Thank you, Amy! I have just Had a revelation this Has been Something I’ve been doing for a long time to my husband – not showing him respect! … And I didn’t even realize it!! Please pray for me as I begin this new journey – my husband is so amazing and deserves all of my respect and I want to be pleasing to the Lord

  6. So good! Thank you for your transparency & for sharing! I too am so guilty of this! Respect – such a seemingly small word but what a huge gift we can give to our spouse!

  7. Oh how I needed this. My favorite part:   Justifying our actions, blaming his behavior and rebelling against God’s Word will only leave us in greater pain. God is worthy of our obedience.
    Love you sweet sister!

  8. Wow, I never realized how much I have been disrespecting my husband until I read this. Over the years I have tried to deal with issues he has with angry, short temp and/or how he goes off the deep end sometimes. So I as would not do that, I thought I was still on the right level of respect that I needed to be on with him. But little did I know that the change in “my tone of voice, body language, or even shutting down verbally, emotionally and physically”, was my way of showing disrespect to him. This really hit me, I was “Justifying my actions, blaming his behavior and rebelling against God’s Word leaving me in greater pain.” Wow! what a big OUCH for me to hear, BUT a very good and peaceful feeling to know that God loves me that much, that through your post He has spoken to my heart. A strive to change in this area has begun and a great big apology to my husband is way over needed. Thank you! You are truly a good women being used by God to bring healing to hearts and marriages!

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